I'm about to walk into an exam right now and a thought just hit me. How awful would it be to be hit with a bout of uncontrollable diahorrea during an exam. You'd be sitting there with beads of cold sweat rolling down your face... Fists clenching and unclenching... Cold shivers rippling up and down your body... Knees trembling... Stomach knotting ( Read more... )

A sudden rumbling in the distance awoke the Turtle. Turtle, whom just a moment ago had been dreaming sweet dreams of living in a wonderful cave where the walls were all carved from chocolate, slowly rubbed the sleep from his eyes and looked around still in a sleepy daze ( Read more... )

First Club Romeo and now Naughty Girl. So this the famous Orchard Towers! Mmm.... Trannylicious.... Or should I say, Trannyawful!


( Read more... )

Hello mudda, hello fadda,
Here I am at, Camp Granada,
Where the toilets, need their doors locked,
So I don't get barged in on when brown things drop...

T plus 1 day and counting...

With Love & Kisses,
Merrill from the can

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

Rain rain go away,
Come again when you're fricken' needed! Like when there's bushfires and shit...

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

The Betrayal ( Read more... )

The end is nigh
----------------------

Fucking Autoflush
Like Summers rain on my ass
Its end will come soon

With Love and Kisses (not to the autoflush),
Merrill from the can

Posted via LiveJournal.app.

A priest checks into a hotel and books a room to spend the night. He asks the front desk "Excuse me, but is the porn in my room disabled?".

The guy at the front desk answers in disgust, "No it's just regular porn you filthy pervert!"

Thank you very much, I'm here all week! Try the fish!

With Love & Kisses,
Merrill from the can

Posted via ( Read more... )

Because people weren't grossed out enough to my liking yesterday, I now give you...

Ode to the Turtles

My turtles they search for the ocean,
My turtles they search for the sea
Oh why do they try to swim from here,
Please bring back my turtles to meee...

Brrriinnng back brrriinnng back,
Oh bring back my turtles to me to me!
Brrriinnng back oh brrriinnng ( Read more... )

You know those autoflushers that sense when you move away from the can and automatically flush? Well don't you damn well hate it when you're just sitting there, laying some nice relaxing cable and pondering the meaning of life, when all you do is lean forward by the smallest fraction of an angle and thereby inadvertently activate the autoflusher ( Read more... )